Tuesday, March 26, 2013

RL vs. SL

The people in my RL think of SL as this horrible addiction for me.  I have been told by several of my girlfriends that they were worried about me when I was in SL before.  Yes there was a time that I let it go too far.  I became so fully invested in my SL that I let parts of my RL go.  I made a conscious effort about a year and a half ago to fix my RL and let SL go. 

As I said in my previous post I am slowly realizing that I CAN have both.  I can sit in the living room with my boyfriend and be on SL at the same time.  I mean really I am not someone who can be idle for very long so even if we are just watching tv, I am playing games on my phone or something so what is the difference?

I adore my boyfriend...I really do.  He came into my life at my lowest point and has really lifted me up and made me a better person.  He cooks and cleans and basically takes care of me.  He is the best wife in the world!  LOL

I brought up to him, about 2 weeks ago my thoughts about SL.  How I missed it and that I would like to get back into it.  I told him that I would start over as a new av because I needed to get away from the life I was leading in SL before.  I used to work in clubs and was so tired in being caught up in all the club dramas and really just wanted to dress pretty, maybe have a home to make nice and take pictures of myself and maybe learn photoshop or building or something productive.  He kind of rolled his eyes at me and said "well as long as it doesn't become all consuming I guess I don't mind."  YES!  I got the go ahead!  Not that I really needed to ask his permission but I wanted to involve him in this decision because I felt it was only fair. 

So Friday night I grabbed my computer, sat down and logged in. AAAAAAAAACK I was RUTHED!  Like....I looked like RUTH.  I almost logged off right then and there.  HAHA  I got myself to my Linden home (I signed up for premium mainly so I had a place to get myself together that was not an info hub or sandbox) and hit the marketplace for a skin and shape.  I knew that they would probably not be what I kept but I needed a place to start.  I purchased a cute little mesh dress from Cold Logic and got to fixing up my shape the way I liked it. 

Meanwhile, every time I looked up my BF was looking over at the computer screen.  I finally got frustrated and asked him if it really was ok with him.  He said of course that he was just going to give me crap about it.  Whatever, I deal with his giving me a hard time everyday. 

I reached out to one of two friends I wanted to reconnect with and we had a nice chat and all in all I was probably in sl about an hour and a half.  Saturday night I logged in again and kept working on making myself presentable so that I can go out and shop and this time he pretty much left me alone (besides the occasional jab about how concentrated I was and that he wished I concentrated that hard on his penis...BOYS UGH!).

Sunday I decided I would have a marathon RealWorld San Francisco day because watching that season truly in a way changed my life.  Seeing Pedro and his struggles with HIV/AIDS has in part made me the crusader for gay rights and HIV prevention that I am today.  The BF went into his office and closed his door.  When I asked him why he just said he wasn't interested and was going to watch a movie on his computer.  I was a little bit upset because I sit and watch his Pawn Stars, Amazing Homes, Storage Hunters and allll of that crap he watches even though I'm not interested just to spend some time with him.  I felt that he wasn't showing me the same courtesy but whatever his loss.

This brings us to last night,  I didn't log in on Sunday or yesterday but was looking at blogs last night for some inspiration on clothes I'd like to purchase and style ideas.  I decided to show my BF some of the pictures that people have done and explain how beautiful I think they are.  Again he started to give me a bunch of crap (he thinks he is funny).  I started to get upset and told him that I wish that he would just for once actually take interest in something that is important to me.  He basically told me that he really doesn't care if I am on SL, again as long as it doesn't become all consuming, but he is sarcastic and will give me a hard time.

I guess at this point I am torn.  My feelings are a bit hurt and I don't really know how to tell him.  I also don't want SL to come in and hurt our relationship.  I truly believe our relationship is stronger than that but I will sacrifice SL waaaay before I will sacrifice my relationship.   I can always find other creative outlets. 

I really don't know the point of this other than venting.  I wonder if other people deal with this kind of stuff.  I know several people from my past SL that refuse to talk about SL with anyone in their RL.  Its like their dirty little secret.  I don't live that way.  If I am excited about something then I tend to tell people about it.  I may be a little more secretive this time though to be honest. 

So I guess the point of this to the few people who may read this is: how does SL come into play in your RL?  Do you sacrifice RL relationships for it?  Do you feel like its an addiction?  I'm just curious if anyone else go through these types of things with the people in their RL.

P.S. If you read this whole thing I send you sprinkle cookies!

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